bottoms beware.

ok so literally SoKo is just like Tdot.

BUT

The kids have an ALARMING activity they enjoy which plagues teachers everywhere.

it is called.

Dong-chim.

Charmingly and loosely translated as "shit-needle" Dong chim is where the students place their hands together as if they're holding up a gun and come up behind you and try to poke you up your butt.

sometimes i run, sometimes i hold a book against my ass, sometimes i cry, but regardless...

no one is safe from the shit needle.

to show you an example of such a maneuver in action, the kindergartens had a puppet show in the gym on tuesday. it was super elaborate and amazing puppets, real lights, a huge stage. the works.

but it was in korean, so i asked one of my korean coteachers what the story was about and she said "the virus made it so the cook can't poo poo, so its up to poo poo man to fight the virus"

much different than your everyday puppet show but entertaining none the less.

so ok, a little boy and this virus puppet are fighting and all of a sudden the virus villain (looks like team edward style villain) comes out from behind the curtain as a life sized huge mascot in the same clothes as the puppet.

lo and behold, someone has to beat this super villain and the only person to beat him is poo poo man a superhero dressed character with a swirl of plastic shit on his head.

how does he beat the villian you ask?

with a good old dong-chim shit needle.

so once i get back, you bitches beware of your bottoms.

this is all a legitimate true story. 

hahahahah

<3

miss you crazies.

my blog turned korean. i cant read korean.

sorry for the haitus. i came back to my blog and it was all in korean and i was like

"eff this shit"

anyway! my kids did their pokemon song and a whole new world. the class that did a whole new world actually won! so on monday we get a pizza party! :)

pokemon song...

....

well.

its an e for effort. one kid was screaming like a banshee the whole time. ash ketchum would have not caught him if he were a pokemon i don't think.

yesterday my korean coteacher and jasmine went to a hookah bar. it was actually unreal. its 12 dollars for a hookah with a milllion options of flavoured tobacco. we got chocolate mint. and no mom, if you're reading this it isnt DRUGS. we sat in this wild decorated room with a dj and you had to climb up stairs and get to a loft/bunkbed/treehouse thing. unreal :)

will post a video of pokemon on facebook. for now its shopping time. but not in a mall... OHHH no.

the best shopping is in the subway station! shoes and dresses for 5 and 10 dollars. it is unreal.

:)

bye for now

white day is fricking awesome

here in korea they have a holiday today.

not a "don't go to school" kinda holiday.

just a plain old awesome holiday called WHITE DAY.

valentines day here is where girls give candy to boys. White day is where boys give to girls. and april 14th is BLACK DAY for singles. lol.

i will celebrate all of these.

<3

sneakers with a prom dress? absolutely.

So I knew the fashion in Kor-izzle would be different and I was so psyched for it.

They have all these little shops in the subway that sell shoes and bags and clothes for like 5 dollars. There's lots of high necked, like Sailor Moon collared things and 50's and 60's inspired stuff.

But the trend that is the most wonderful is that at the club, or even just out on the streets, the girls wear these tiny mini skirts with SNEAKERS!

Crazy coloured, high topped, velcro sneakers. Legit pumped up kicks.

I wonder why we never thought of this phenomenon before. Comfort. Strange.

People are usually hella dressed up here. I have never once seen track pants on a human outside. Not even when we had to go to the hospital for a health check.

So I guess what I've learned here is

Track pants: nay

Pumped up Kicks: yay

I'm LEARNING!

friendship in korea.

to give you an example of how to make friends in seoul:

step one: be lost in homeplus and not know where a cash register (korean walmart)

step two: see person who you are positive speaks english

step three: ask person about cash register. subsequently end up in 10 minute conversation about drunk festivities in seoul.

step four: person takes facebook account.

step five: make plans to get drunk with person you met for five minutes in homeplus on a friday night.

thats pretty much how it goes here. lol.

Just before I run to school...

I'm off to school soon but I just wanted to point out...

Teaching Kindergarten students the pokemon theme song is like trying to perform brain surgery on greys anatomy.

so far its been three days and i've gotten down "i wanna be the very best"

hahaha

updates slash video will follow.

<3

First Weekend in Seoul: Aka: Holy Shit.

Weekend finally arrives and I am pretty much the most psyched to see what kind of shenanegans I will get into in Seoul.

Jasmine and I get loaded off Soju (1.40cent booze) and go to an Irish pub with some of the other teachers at our school. I literally felt like I was in Wilfs singing Patio Lanterns.

Then we go to another district, Hongdae which is basically the most wild place I've ever been. Its all neon lights and alleyways that lead to other clubs. Clubs are open until like 7:00am and theres a 5:30 drunk train. I am in heaven.

We go into this club and literally it is like Step Up 3 the streets.

Everyone is break dancing, everyone knows the LMFAO dances, everything. Theres a giant break dance circle.

Naturally I think its a good idea to bust out my jazz routines.

I end up in the splits on the floor in the middle of the break dance circle. There was a fog machine and I dove into the fog and my co-teachers thought I broke something. hahahahha.

Some things never change :)

The next night we went to this club in the fancypants district, supposedly top 3 in Seoul because its in the Ritz Carleton called Eden. Crazy predrink with a bunch of super nice army guys and teachers...I met a girl from Ajax! Literally the smallest world!

They got bottles and a booth so from what I remember I had a wonderful time dancing to a whole lot of trance music. Korean girls poked me in the boobs and butt in the bathroom and hugged me. I am still not 100 percent sure why but I took it as either I look like a fatass or its a compliment. Will look into further.

Sunday was Hungover :)

I feel like I am going to lose 25 years off my life with this crazy 6am mornings! haha. Worth it I think!

<3

First Few Days of School. Can I get a "Mamma Mia?"

First Day of School!

So on the first day of school we were given a shadowing schedule from 10-7 and we followed around different teachers. Kindergarten here is around 7-8 years old so it wasn’t at all what I was expecting. The kids were already reading sentences and printing and speaking in English. Kindergarten goes until 2:10 and they serve lunch to them. I had no idea what I was eating but I tried everything anyway. I know I had tofu soup, kimchi , sticky rice and fish but I have no idea what any of the other stuff was. It was good but holy shit is it spicy! Back at home I literally die a little bit eating like… Mr. Noodle. I guess I will have to just suck it up (that’s what she said)

After 2:10 when the kindergarten kids go home the elementary kids come in (9-12). I shadowed a few of the classes and the kids all gasped when I took my hair out of a ponytail. Here they call blonde hair gold or yellow. Little do they know how much I paid to have yellow hair. Bahaha.

After all that Jasmine (the girl I landed with) and me went to mcdonalds and a big mac tastes the exact same except less expensive. I bought a hair straightener just like my chi but for $22!!!!! What the hell was I doing buying a 200 dolla hair straightener?

Second Day of School:

Today we had kindergarten graduation rehearsal. It is so fricking cute. They learn western songs and have to perform them with a song and a dance. One of the groups did “mamma mia.” I think I’m going to film it and put it in facebook because it is so damn cute. Here they also have “song festival” once a month where each kindergarten class learns a western song and performs it in front of the other kids like a recital. Not western as in like.. HEE HAWWW but western as in, Justin bieber.

We went for “galby” which is kind of like fondue except instead of broth they give us a mini grill. We all had to take our shoes off and sit on the floor on little cushions and for 11 dollars we got a HUGE serving plate of raw beef we got to cook ourselves, rice, 2 kinds of soup, 2 kinds of salad, and a whole table of other stuff. Its interesting how they eat it. They give you big pieces of dark lettuce and you put the meat and whatever else you want in the lettuce leaf and then wrap it up into a little lettuce present and shove it in your mouth. After that they took us to “home plus” which is basically walmart! they have all the same kind of stuff just in different packaging, like the bottle for febreeze LOOKS the exact same but the words are just in Korean. I literally was in heaven. Home plus is awesome and legit 10 seconds from my apartment.

They’re giving free Korean classes so I might take a few so I know what the hell im eating. My apartment building also has a hot yoga studio in it and “norebang” which basically means get drunk and sing karaoke.

Tomorrow the school is going to rehearse graduation at the theatre, we’re going to take a bus there and “supervise,” then shadow some more and then jasmine and I are going to go out with one of the teachers, tiffany for her boyfriends birthday. Booze is $1.40 cents here (cheaper than water) it tastes like nail polish remover mixed with tequila. Its cheaper than my vex!

I just keep writing these emails in the morning before I leave for school but I cant send them until I go to a mcdonalds or coffee place. Coffee is expensive here, good thing I don’t drink it. Mcdonalds is cheaper but tastes the same, they have some weird items like “bulgogi burger” which I have no idea what that is and rice and stuff but otherwise even the toys are the same!!! They also have a baskin robbins down the street! Everyone is superrr fashionable but its not hard to be fashionable because things are so cheap here, it really feels like Toronto sometimes!

I haven’t taken the subway yet but I do have a “tmoney” card which you just load with money, its 1 dolla a ride! The subway map is a little bit terrifying (SEEEE ATTTACHED)

So much to dooo! Miss everyone so much!

GREETINGSSSS FROM THE FUTUREEEE

Greetings from the FUTUREEEE (Cue X-Files music?)

After two Flights, 15 hours, and five, FFFFFIVE full-length movies (disney and sandra bullock) here I am in SOUTH KOREA! Its noon back home and 3:00am here, and I can’t sleep because at this time I would be watching Randy’s hilarious commentary on Say Yes to the Dress. I guess I’m also Jetlagged as shit.

And so, for whenever I find Internet I will have my very first blog post ready to go! Written with care in a Seoul hotel room (aka love motel where frisky people get frisky) at 3:00am. I’ve never been on such a huge plane in my entire life. There were first class seats in PODS. I don’t know what a girls gotta do to get into one of them pods but I think it would be totally worth it just to feel like a Sex and the City girl. We flew over Siberia and Northern Canada and I took all these pictures out the window. I felt awkward because literally everyone’s window was closed and here I am going paparazzi watching the fricking mountains covered in snow. The lady beside me didn’t mind, she was super nice (mother teresa nice for dealing with me!) and gave me her phone number at the end of the flight if I ever needed anything. We had an empty seat between us so my area looked just like my room at home. ESSSPLOSION!

I’ve already met lots of people at the airport, everyone is really wicked and we’ve all helped each other out with each others bags and customs and where to go. God knows I wouldn’t have been able to lift my heavy ass bags off the merry-go-round by myself. I also got fingerprinted and a photo taken, i don't know where that photo is going but it is certainly naaat a glamour shot.

Once I landed I waited for one of my co-teachers on a later flight to arrive. As I was just standing there in my dopey hat and heavily baby-powdered hair an old (I mean old) guy from Texas tried to talk to me and then kissed my hand goodbye. Even he was wicked helpful albeit slightly creepy. This airport had a big play going on, and lanterns and trees covered in Christmas lights and a KFC and MCDONALLLLLDS! Finally I was introduced to my awesome co-teacher, Jasmine and within the first 5 minutes it was teamwork trying to use the Korean ATM. Then we were in a taxi en route to the hotel (again, love motel for friskies) we’re staying at until Tuesday, when the teachers we’re taking over for fly back home.

So we’re driven through what looks like car wash flaps but really we’re just at a hotel. Hotel in North America is a little different than this hotel. There’s space patterned carpet and colour changing lights on the hallway ceiling, and it kind of reminds me of residence. It legit looks like they took the carpet from laser quest and put it on the ceiling. I feel very safe! J There’s also the biggest flat screen I’ve ever seen for the smallest room I've ever seen. There’s also no shower door! Its so cool, all the water just drains in the middle and the shower head is just attached to a wall with all these intense blasting jets running down the middle. I was like, "what the hell do I do with this knob" and all of a sudden BAM blasting jets.

After our director made sure we had everything and the teachers we’re replacing gave us a welcome bag with magazines and guides and food (woohoo!) it was explore time.

At first it felt like Toronto, just with different signs, but then you realize there’s these little alleyways with a whole other world in them. People selling all sorts of stuff in this narrow alley market with all these fruits and vegetables and fish I had only seen on Chopped. It was fricking so cool! We also got lost for our first time but people have been so nice here, they took out their phones and walked us in the right way, even if they don’t know English its not all that hard to communicate at all. Plus getting lost when you’re with someone is fun, getting lost by yourself is a little more petrifying.

There is a 4 floor Wal-Mart style store across the street from the hotel. It only sells electronics and you get escorted up the elevators from boys wearing sashes. I will be buying a straightener ASAP or else I will start looking like Albert Einstein.

Thats all for now but I'll have lots to say later! :)

Miss you all so much!

<3mawii